Thursday, October 20, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
For weeks I've been standing on the edge of the high-dive, scared to leap off into the unknown. I was paralyzed, unable to commit to an egg donor and unwilling to leave the safety of my ledge and free-fall into another IVF cycle. Those waters are deep and treacherous. Last time, I almost drowned.
But you can't live on the edge indefinitely. Sooner or later you have to screw your courage to the sticking place, take a deep breath, close your eyes, cross your fingers and hope for the best. Eventually you have to jump.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
We've been trying to select an egg donor for the past few weeks and still haven't made a decision.
The dilemma, as I wrote the other day, boils down to one basic question: how much does it matter if our egg donor (and therefore our potential child) looks nothing like me?
Friday, October 7, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
I just took a week off. I declared a vacation from work and worry and went on the road with Mr Wren. He had business in Chicago and I had never been there, so I asked for the time off work and packed my bags.
We were heading to the Windy City, so of course I packed a jacket. But in another (metaphorical) suitcase I also packed away all thoughts of babies, lack of babies, lost babies, potential babies, and the terrifying possibility of life without babies. This latter suitcase, and as much excess emotional baggage as I could shed, I happily left on the curb as we set off on our road trip.